Crashing and Falling

I am whirlwinds and I am broken suns.
I am hollow shells and the beginning of nights
I am 3:00 in the morning.
I am empty cello strings and white porches.
I am cliffs and edges.
I am waves on canvas.
I am crashed into you.
My hands hold itchy blood.
I long for love.
I am in the mirror and the window.
My soul is tired.
My footprints show the blisters.
I drifted in the rain.
And here I am.
My days cry like flags in the dust when I hang them on shelves and forget to lift them again.
I long to be the sunrise in the night.
But I am the one waiting to be bright.
When I crashed, I fell.
Just like I always do.
Come to my side this day
And pick up the hope I spilled before.
Bring me a storm to make me feel strong.
Bring fire to my blood
And let it burn long.
I am sprawled where you have been.
Show me my world.
Teach me what my heart already knows.
I am a leaking engine.
I am the loudest sigh,
The song on repeat.
I long to be hit with the wind,
The kind that reminds you that you’re still alive.
For air to creep through my skin and lift up what’s inside me.
Turn me inside out and back again.
Give me something bright to scorch my hands and breathe my dreams.
Give me new fields and hold me in them.
I am the first frozen puddle
And the first to melt.
Please know that I have come from dirt and dust.
Please know that I am still listening for my heartbeat.
Please know that I am bruised and do not ask me how,
I will tell you later.
I am burning sage.
Can you see me through the smoke?
I am brash boned and shattering stars.
I am not here to say “I am weak”.
I want only to fall into your arms just once
With all that I am hanging from my shoulders.
With the nails clanking and the metal shards glittering,
With my heart shouting and the sunrise coming.
With the wheels spinning and the waves crashing
Crashing
Crashing.
That day I crashed into you.
I fell into you.
And I hoped to God that you would catch me.