Future

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future

by Melissa Wood on Friday, March 4, 2011 at 10:12pm

I will be slow to slip my hand away from the old door knob.
I will descend the deep steps with the same heaviness and hesitation.
And I know that my feet will linger on the last one.
But still, my heart or my head will speak then
And silently cheer on the launch of my feet from the ledge, and down the sidewalk path,
Through to the next open doorway.
I will be on my way.
The setting of sights,
The vast undertaking.
I will be scared to death.
Leaving this fortress I have for so long called home.
But I am sure that the back of my mind, or maybe my heart
Will be singing of the freedom I would then be looking to;
The song always there to remind myself of why I am here and why I will be “there”.
And why I have taken my heart with me this time.
Ready to carry its heavy weight to my next “home”.
Marking foreign lands with who I am.
I will go to be the pioneer and the patriot.
To lose, to fear, to love, and to live in the next new place.
And the place after that,
And the one after that.
I will take so much with me.
And bring back so much more.
Yes, I will bring it all back to them.
Show them my heart gone scarlet and buzzing with stories, philosophy, and fancy words.
I will sit at holidays and answer their questions for hours.
Because I am the trail blazer now.
I am the next conqueror.
I am new.
But then as I sit there,
I will walk back through the years,
Tracing back each act of grace, of progress, of
“just one more year!” and then “just one more month!”, and then, the final day.
I will peal back the layers
And find where I stepped off that ledge.
And I will look to see that the imprint of freedom is still on those steps.
To see that it was all worth it.
To see that what I have become is a sacred being to me.
I will have left behind what I know,
To go and be washed in new truths.
At least I will say that I did it.
That I marched forth with only wide eyes, tenderness, and a bit of strength,
All wrapped up in hope.
Hope that I would still be that pioneer.
That passionate soldier in this youth.
Still left standing mid-knock at new doors,
Even after all the others have been shut.